Easy thumbs-up. This is the 176th Fundraising Writing Newsletter. If you find value here, please tell a fundraising friend. (Your fundraising friend can ​subscribe here for free.)​

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Hi Reader,

If you've done any writing at all, you've probably heard the advice “show, don’t tell” about a million times.

But “showing” is not just about sensory details or dialogue.

It’s also about you-were-there "time travel."

Are you forgetting the ING in your fundraising writing?

An -ING verb can be your fundraising time machine.

When your donors have "traveled back in time" with you, they’re there for the nitty gritty, to feel all the feelings.

Here's a not-bad-at-all before for you:

And a slightly more memorable after:

The second example is more memorable because it uses the progressive -ING verb tense, which is the one that's most representative of things happening right now. Which makes you (and your donors) more likely to feel like "you are there."

Try sprinkling this kind of sentence for emphasis at a crucial moment. (But cool your jets! Don't go bananas!)

Small moments can make a big difference. 💙

Speaking of small moments making a big difference...

Check out this Johnson Box from a recent appeal I received in the mail:

Refresher: A Johnson Box is that eye-catching text at the top of a direct mail letter (sometimes highlighted or boxed) that delivers your key message before the salutation. Think of it as your letter's headline.

Do you spot the issue with this one?

They're leading with "Thanks to our generous partners..."

Here's the thing: When someone opens your appeal letter, they need to immediately see what THEIR opportunity is -- not read about what other donors already did.

The top of your letter is prime real estate. Use it to grab your reader with what they can accomplish. For example:

Your gift will go 3X as far today with matching funds!

...hits harder than...

Thanks to our generous partners, your gift will go 3X as far!

See the difference? The second one isn't terrible. It has the matching opportunity. But it leads with someone else instead of the reader. Those five words at the beginning dilute your most powerful message.

(If you need to mention who provided the matching funds, save it for one mention inside the letter.)

Remember: everyone in your fundraising ecosystem matters, but know your audience for each specific piece. In an appeal letter, that's the person holding it. ❤️

Small placement decisions... big impact on your reader. 📬

Randomly yours: to inspire and recharge you

For your brain, heart, and funny bone...
​

• Fundraisingly Informative — Nonprofit Navel-Gazing Syndrome by Jeff Brooks (the first in a series of blog posts on Nonprofit Diseases; here Jeff looks at how tantalizingly easy it is to highlight your org's successes rather than what your donors really want to know about)
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• Easily Ignorable — Studies Reveal Consumers Easily Detect AI-Generated Content via Search Engine Journal (an article highlighting data with analysis on why AI images and copy are usually being noticed by their audiences in unflattering ways)
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• Creatively Compelling — ​PIECE BY PIECE - Official Trailer via Focus Features (a 3-minute YouTube video trailer of the inspiring, fascinating 2024 Pharrell Williams documentary told only with Lego animation, now on Netflix)

Until next time: May every word choice... from your -ING verbs to your Johnson Boxes... put your donor right where they need to be! 💛

Grateful,

Julie Cooper & Brett Cooper
Fundraising Copywriters​
​FundraisingWriting.com​
​100% human, thank you very much.